I didn’t do much of anything today… I did some shopping (I needed a microwave and a new router), cleaned up from my litter get together (last night I had the girls over for the first time), took some cuttings from a plant, and cleaned up my computer (I had installed far too many programs on my desktop pc). It was nice to just lie about and do almost nothing. The only problem is doing nothing leads to boredom and if any of you know me at all, you know I hate having nothing to do and being bored.
So being the lazy person I am, I ended up looking for my DVD collection and in the process found some DVDs I’d bought and never watched. Out of the three I ended up picking Steel Magnolias. Having no idea what it was (I bought it b/c Sally Field (who I love) was on the cover), I blindly pressed the power button. Of course the water works started running before the movie had even reached the mid point.
When I was younger, I distinctly remembering crying when I was four and my father telling me men didn’t cry. Of course I didn’t listen to him (I was quit a handful as a child) and continued bawling my eyes out. Looking back, I made the right decisions (even though at the time I was just being stubborn). I still tend to bottle my emotions (yet another irony, right now I’m listening to Abba’s Lay All Your Love On Me which contains the lyrics don’t go wasting your emotion…) but I never try to hold in my tears. I think refusing to cry in an attempt to be brave or stoic (b/c little boys shouldn’t cry) is one of the greatest idiocies ever passed on by fathers.
Crying lets loose all the problems that have built up and even thought its messy at the time and you hate how you’ve let yourself become so vulnerable, after all is said and done, you feel so very much better.